Har Har

Mr Tumnus (the faun) makes me laugh :)

....for all the wrong reasons!

From Mr Tumnus to Wesley Gibson (of Wanted).. what a transformation!

I Have No Reason To Fear

I always have the thought that with this 8 freaking month long of holiday that I will be able to travel to a place or places that I won't normally go to. I'm kind of sick of my father's empty promises.

This year actually would be a special year to visit a certain place. Yes my Mom keeps emphasising the annivesary celebration associated to the place. Emphasised it like thousand of times. But yesterday I realised that, oh well, it's just a number. If she and I are not meant to visit that place this year, then I would accept the fact. The place will always be there regardless of the number. It doesn't matter if we add 1 or 2 or 3 to that number.

Two weeks ago, I really wanted to go to that place and the surrounding areas. I hoped so hard that it will turn out smoothly. But my inner being secretly knows that things don't always go as planned. So interestingly, instead of praying that that trip will happen, I prayed that the right path will be shown to my family and me, because I felt what my mom and I wanted may not be the best for the moment. Somewhat, two weeks later, which is now, I just felt somewhat calmer and more peaceful with myself. I had put in so much effort in planning out for the trip, with the endless researching and the continuous attempts to ignore a very unappreciative person. Yes I've accepted the fact that this trip is dead, for now. It's kinda of doomed from the start. I hate how my father comes out with random travel plan and how he never planned out the year, so that we can have early reservations of tickets and hotels.

When an alternative route was served, I thought that the direction of where my family is supposed to go has been shown. The direction is OBVIOUS. It is being pointed to. We are supposed to go down that alternative route! Yes now I'm kinda angry that that person who failed me endlessly wants to fail me again. Let's just hope my mother has enough strength and will power to overcome all this and make the best decision for us and, most importantly, for herself. Because I strongly think that whatever will happen, she would be the key.

I hate empty promises. I guess I have said that for the umpteeth time.

L'enfant Terrible

I am a horrible person when it comes to hiding emotions. When I'm happy, I'll smile. When I'm sad, I'll frown. When I disagree, I'll complain. But with the Internet, I could just hide behind the screen, and conceal the real emotions that I was feeling at that point of time. Well, I try to. But, at some points of time, when I couldn't bear to conceal the emotions, I would need to get away from the computer, and take a walk or drink a cup of water or two, before my emotions calm down. But then again, sometimes this doesn't work either.

When someone angers me, yes, I do feel like retaliating, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Confrontations should always be avoided when possible. I wouldn't want someone else to feel hurt, when I myself am already hurt.

Just hearing you say "sorry" will be more than enough for my anger and depression to subside. But you never did.